What I know for sure...

I remember seeing an Oprah interview with Maya Angelou and she asked her "what do you know for sure?" It is actually one of Oprah's common questions when she is doing one on one interviews. It made me think about how I would answer that question. At first, I felt like I knew very little (if anything at all) for sure. However, as I thought about it more, I realized that there were a few things. With that in mind, I would like to periodically share what I know for sure. 

I think it will be cool to see how it changes and grows. This is a bit scary for me because I do not know if my 40 year old self will feel the same as my almost 30 year old self. Because of that, I almost didn't write this, but then I thought "isn't that the point in living and growing wiser?" You have the liberty to change your mind or admit that you had it wrong before. So with that freedom, I want to do this. 

I know for sure:

Life can be incredibly difficult, but almost everything works out if we just PRESS ON. 

In my previous post, I mentioned how 2013 was such a bad year for us. It was also rude in that it outstayed it's welcome. Seriously, I could not believe how that year just dragged on and on and never got the hint that it was time to leave. There were times when it seemed like the pressure would not let up and there would not be an end to the toughness. There were lots of things that I thought would not work themselves out anywhere near the immediate future. Still, we just pressed on and everything worked out. Actually, it was even better than just working out or going away, there was real relief and joy. 

What I learned the most from that time is that the junk, hardness and messiness of life will not usually ruin you. I am a lot less anxious about the future nowadays (<----I'm a Texan, unapologetically).  Times when I began to worry, I just think back on where I have been and I quietly whisper to myself "press on". And to be honest, some days that's all I have to give. There are days when I hit the ground running, coffee in hand fully ready to attack with gusto. On those days, I usually feel incredibly strong, fearless and proud of having lived that day like it was my last or <insert any other grab life by the horns cliche>. But then there are the days (or weeks) when it is tough to get going, I drag along, my energy is low, my list is still unchecked at the end of the day and I just feel blah or something more unsettling happens. On those days pressing on is what I can do well. And I just do that and I know that all that seems wrong will work itself out. 

PRINT and PIXELS: The Catch Up

I am very excited to be writing again!!  There is really no way to catch up on almost 2 years. I mulled over how to get the blog up to speed with my life and I decided to do a list. So here are the 5 things that happened since…well forever ago…they are in no particular order and neither are the pictures. 

1. We bought a new house: This one just happened and it is still surreal. It all moved really fast even though at times it felt like it was going at a snails pace. V can be crazy sometimes because he literally thinks everything is possible. He is always down to take big well thought out risks. I am so happy that my father was who is was because he prepared me to be married to my man. We started the journey to buying our second home without the entire down payment saved and in a extremely seller friendly market. We always ended up in a multiple offer situation and houses we loved sold in less than 48 hours. We actually offered on the home we purchased sight unseen (there weren't even pictures online yet) within 30 minutes of it going on the market. Turns out, it was a great buy in this area and we couldn't be happier with the space. On to the decorating!!

2. We both passed the bar: <insert church shout> That is all. 

3. I owned a law firm and closed a law firm: I finished the Legislative session and begin my job search. A couple of friends from law school were thinking of starting their own practices and I thought it was a good idea to get experience while I continued to search. Before I knew it I had an office space, a website, clients and bonafide law practice. After about 4 months of running my own firm full time, I received a job offer. I learned a lot from my stint in private practice with the biggest lesson being resilience. It was hard, very hard, there is no sugar coating that. But I did it and I know I could do it again. That counts for more than I realized at the time. More on this later. 

4. We put on a few pounds: currently working these off. 

5. We survived the tornado that was 2013: There is no way to describe how hard the year 2013 was for us. It was the hardest year either of us had ever had. Still, our marriage grew a lot and we got closer than we ever imagined. That was definitely God's gift during an extremely low season for us. We learned to really depend on each other and to be dependable. I can't put a pin on when everything broke and changed, it just got better. A lot of the pressure we were feeling was removed and we both exhaled a lot. It felt like walking out of a smoke filled room into fresh air. We could breathe and it felt good to be doing it while holding hands knowing that we are the only ones who know the severity of the smoke and that we are unbreakable. 

Here's a few Pixels:

Paralysis.

“If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.” -Franklin D. Roosevelt

I have to admit that ever since I decided to start blogging again, I have been in a bit of a writing paralysis. I think it's because I have been fixated on returning to it and doing it really well. So I have been working on a new header design, starting drafts and then leaving them as that because I'm worried about the content not being good enough. Between colors, lines, typography and much more, I got stuck. 

Also, there are so many blogs out there and as I peruse the interwebs I become less and less resolved. I think about how great their blogs look or how witty they are (seriously how do people come up with some of this stuff) or how thoughtful or how quirky. Comparison is a skilled party pooper (I plan to do a whole blog about it). I then began to talk myself out of the whole thing and convinced myself that I could no longer write well or think creatively or say anything that mattered. 

So, I am drafting this to have a reminder on the blog to myself that this is simply about doing what I love: writing and relationships. Sure I want it to be good (that can only be determined by the reader), but most of all I want it to be authentic. And right now, this is full-disclosure-head-on-honesty. I definitely don't like the design and I want it to have a better look. I am not sure if what will come out will be good, or deep or funny or valuable. I want it to be all of those things really badly and I hope that it is, but the first step is that it must come out, get down on e-paper. I have not written leisurely in a really long time and the idea of committing to a consistent schedule scares me, but I am going to do this afraid. So it begins…again.