Paralysis.

“If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.” -Franklin D. Roosevelt

I have to admit that ever since I decided to start blogging again, I have been in a bit of a writing paralysis. I think it's because I have been fixated on returning to it and doing it really well. So I have been working on a new header design, starting drafts and then leaving them as that because I'm worried about the content not being good enough. Between colors, lines, typography and much more, I got stuck. 

Also, there are so many blogs out there and as I peruse the interwebs I become less and less resolved. I think about how great their blogs look or how witty they are (seriously how do people come up with some of this stuff) or how thoughtful or how quirky. Comparison is a skilled party pooper (I plan to do a whole blog about it). I then began to talk myself out of the whole thing and convinced myself that I could no longer write well or think creatively or say anything that mattered. 

So, I am drafting this to have a reminder on the blog to myself that this is simply about doing what I love: writing and relationships. Sure I want it to be good (that can only be determined by the reader), but most of all I want it to be authentic. And right now, this is full-disclosure-head-on-honesty. I definitely don't like the design and I want it to have a better look. I am not sure if what will come out will be good, or deep or funny or valuable. I want it to be all of those things really badly and I hope that it is, but the first step is that it must come out, get down on e-paper. I have not written leisurely in a really long time and the idea of committing to a consistent schedule scares me, but I am going to do this afraid. So it begins…again.